FEBRUARY 2024

Brave Hearts!

One family’s journey to the Zipper Club!

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

It was February 2005 and I had just given birth to my third child when I read the words, “your child has a 10% chance of living past the age of 10.” I barely remember anything else. We were

still in the hospital when the doctors diagnosed him with a rare congenital heart condition primarily found in Down’s Syndrome children. Not only did he have what’s called an atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD) he had several other holes and a cleft in the mitral valve. They said he’d need open heart surgery in the next year.

That first year was a scary time and the waiting was the worst. I was pregnant with my fourth child and constantly worried about the surgery. By the time his surgery was scheduled I was a wreck. It’s an understatement to say the buildup was far worse than the surgery itself.

After the surgery, Kellen recovered so quickly he was kicked out of the NICU for being too loud and happy and we slept in a hallway so that he wouldn’t disturb the critical patients. It was shocking how well he did. The only downside was that they couldn’t fix everything and he’d need a second surgery at some point but luckily it didn’t need to be right away.

In the meantime, I’d been getting tired often, having trouble breathing in altitude and minor chest pains. I chalked it up to age. It wasn’t until I couldn’t breathe walking up our stairs that my husband forced me to see a doctor. Thankfully, I listened.

The short version is that I was diagnosed with the beginning of pulmonary hypertension (PH) which occurs when your heart muscle struggles to pump blood around your body and it can be fatal. The doctor I saw at Stanford told me that if they could find a cause for the PH and fix that they might be able to stop the Pulmonary Hypertension. I was terrified.

After months of multiple and bizarre tests (one included riding a bicycle upside down) the doctors found the issue(s). Like my son, I had pediatric congenital defects which meant that I’d been born with heart issues. Imagine my shock when they said I’d need open-heart surgery. They told me that heart problems are common in women causing 1 in every 5 female deaths. My two issues were unrelated to my son’s. The first was a PAPVR or partial anomalous pulmonary venous return which meant that pulmonary veins were connecting to the right atrium rather than the left atrium causing my pulmonary issues. The other, a myocardial bridge, while less serious, caused chest pains because one of the coronary arteries was going through the heart muscle instead of lying on its surface.

Around that time, we were told Kellen needed a second surgery. So, here I was gearing up for mine knowing he was soon after. One positive was that because my heart issues were congenital, I had my surgery at Children’s Hospital with the same doctor who performed my son’s first (and later second) surgery. Knowing Kellen had already done this once and would again, helped me put on a good front. It also helped get me through the months it took to recover both physically and emotionally.

 
 

Before we knew it, it was time for Kellen’s surgery. He handled it far better than I did and once again, we were in awe over how tough and positive he was. In fact, against doctor’s orders he demanded to go to school only a week and a half after the surgery and without telling us, he walked from Crocker to Burlingame Avenue with his friends. Knowing that I could barely walk a block weeks after my surgery, I was shocked. There was no looking back after he insisted on walking home as well.

A few years ago, I was honored to be the guest speaker at the Silicon Valley Go Red for Women’s annual luncheon. Having learned that cardiovascular disease is the number one killer for women, I jumped at the chance to share my story. Go Red For Women raises money and awareness to help educate and fight cardiovascular disease. Having gone through what I did and knowing I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult, I realize the importance of educating others.

Today it all seems like a distant memory. You’d never guess either my son or I have had any health issues. He’s played every sport without restriction, including high school football. Now in college, he’s living life to the fullest. I haven’t had a single issue since my surgery, but my son might require one more procedure.

However, knowing how strong he is, I’m not as worried. I’ve learned a lot on this journey but the three things I wish I could share with everyone is first, that all of us, especially women need to take better care of ourselves. Second, don’t wait for your husband or someone else to make you go to the doctor, listen to your body and use the incredible healthcare we have in the Bay Area. And finally, if you ever end up in the ICU, try to be the one who gets kicked out first for being too happy.

July 2023

The Perks of I Do!

10 Ways tempos Benefit From a Do-over

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

Said nobody ever—nobody I’ve met, at least: “I’ve always dreamt of having a second wedding!” We all pretty much grew up thinking that a wedding was a one- time rager on the path to marrying. That’s basically the reason I wanted to get hitched. That first time, I was only 24 and had dated my then soon-to-be husband for a mere eight months before we got engaged ...

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MARCH 2023

Young Adult Stepkids

5 Ways to Support Their Independence

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

Last Thanksgiving it was our year to have all seven of our combined kids over the holiday. I was looking forward to our family’s biannual beach trip and love we’ve made this a tradition since it combines two of my favorite things: being together and being warm ….

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JANUARY 2023

 
 

Goals for Getting Closer in the New Year

5 Steps for Bonding with Older Stepkids

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

Why does New Year’s Day seem like such a great time to attach ourselves to resolutions? To vow to improve oneself? I’m sure we’ve all noticed how packed the gym gets during the first few weeks of the year before suddenly, around mid-February, nowhere to be found are most of those people who’d made the same snap judgment to: “Get off the couch and get in shape!”

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OCTOBER 2022

Being a Stepmom is Scary

10 Ways to Make Those Nightmares Disappear

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

As a kid I was afraid of lots of things. Looking back, it’s almost comical. I was afraid of dogs, people, horses, spiders, flies, dark shadows, scary movies and, especially, Halloween. While friends were ghosts and goblins, I made sure to dress up as something more innocuous: a pumpkin, a princess, a clown. The scary factor’s debatable on that last one, I’ll admit…

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STEPMOM MAGAZING AUGUST 2022

Stepmoms & Straight A’s

'TOP 10' WAYS TO SURVIVE BACK-TO-SCHOOL DAYS

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

As a kid, I barely slept the night before the first day of school. I was excited and stressed about who’d be in my class, who the teachers would be, and especially, what I’s wear the first day. Being the middle child of five sisters (three step and one biological), getting a brand new outfit was rare—but I was always guaranteed one in time for the first day of school.

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stepmom magazine june 2022

His True Point of View

What Step-/Dads Want Us to Know

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

My mother and my stepfather married when I was 6. Even at that young age, I knew Mom was the parent in charge of me. My father was mostly out of the picture. While my stepfather had three kids of his own, my stepsisters were rarely with us. When his girls were around, he was in charge of them and my mom was in charge of my sister and me.…

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stepmom magazine may 2022

Give Yourself These 5 Gifts on Mother’s Day

Self-Love Tips for Stepmoms

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

I don’t know about you but I’ve been a a stress case forever. I’ve tried to hide it. Yet, more than once, I’ve had friends refer to me as “high strung” or “neurotic”. I’ve laughed it off but it hurts my feelings. I’ve beaten myself up worrying: Am I not doing a good enough job as a mom? As a stepmom? Across our 10-plus year marriage, my husband has suggested I just take time for me …

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stepmom magazine April 2022

The Stepson/Stepdad Rodeo

How This Stepmom Chose to Lasso the Conflict

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

My stepfather and I were never close. He married my mom when I was 6. She had two girls and he had three. His girls only visited on holidays and Summers. Therefore, he spent most of his time with me and my sister. Our Dad, whom I’ll describe as “flaky at best,” was out of the picture. So, you’d think this man and I would’ve grown close over time.

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stepmom magazine February 2022

A Love Letter to My Husband

You Were Right! Stepfamily Life Did ‘Work Out’ for Us

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

Ten years ago, when you asked me to marry you and become your wife plus the step- mother to your three kids, I was thrilled but I did think twice. With four kids of my own and a divorce behind me, I didn’t jump into our marriage quickly or without careful thought. I knew it was a big decision—like, things wouldn’t be easy—but I was excited about us sharing a life together.

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stepmom magazine December 2021

Holiday Help for Stepmoms

12 Days of Do’s for Dialing It Down

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

The first holiday I spent alone without my four kids after having divorced their Dad was one of the most difficult I can remember. My ex and I had agreed to split Christmas each year. One of us would have the kids either the day and night before or the day and night of. We’d then alternate every other year. On paper, the arrangement sounded awful. In reality? It was worse!

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stepmom magazine November 2021

I’m Thankful I Survived!

Holiday Travel & Stepmom Stress

BY KRISTA GIOVARA

Our first Thanksgiving together came only months after we’d married and combined our seven kids. Wanting to make it memorable, hubby and I decided to take everyone to Hawaii. I was excited, sure, but I was also nervous about the idea of taking more than a half-dozen kids between the ages of 5 and 12 on vacation for the veryfirst time.

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stepmom magazine october 2021

Reluctant Roommates

Practical Tips for Living With Your Stepkids

By Krista Giovara

ver a decade ago, when we married and combined our seven kids, my hubby’s oldest was 8. This kid went from being the leader of the pack to suddenly being the middle child in our massive lineup. To now have two older and four younger siblings—plus a new stepmother—couldn’t have been easy, his dad and I ostensibly in Survival Mode as we figured it all out.

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stepmom magazine august 2020

My Stepmom Top 10

Turning Our 'Worst' Experiences Into Our 'Best'

By Krista Giovara

When my husband and I were newly married with seven little ones between us, we instituted a “Best & Worst” dinnertime routine: Every night we’d go around the table, each person saying what was the best and also the worst part of the day for them. There didn’t have to be a worst part to share … but there always had to be a best …

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stepmom magazine july 2021

The Stepmom Balancing Act

Are You Spending Enough 1-on-1 Time With Your Own Kids?

By Krista Giovara

My mom and stepdad had five girls between them. My sister and I lived with them full time and our three stepsisters were with us during Holiday and Summer Breaks. While we were all together for relatively long stints, those three girls were never super close to my mom …

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stepmom magazine may 2021

Making New Friends

Advice for Stepmoms Who Are Starting Over

By Krista Giovara

Not long after my ex and I first separated, a woman in my neighborhood told me “it wouldn’t be wise” for me to attend social gatherings for a while. After a moment of shocked silence I asked why she thought that. She said something to the effect of “the other wives were nervous” I might try to steal their husbands. I was horrified at the time!

stepmom magazine april 2021

Kids & College

A Stepmom’s Guide to Surviving the Application Process

By Krista Giovara

ears ago, as I was in the carpool lane picking up my eldest daughter from kindergarten, I found myself waiting behind a giant Suburban. I noticed stickers from the local elementary school, the local middle school and the local high school on its back window. And, well, … I’m not proud to say I distinctly remember thinking “how old” that mother was to have kids in all three schools.

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stepmom magazine march 2021

Stepsibling Loyalty

The Problem We’re Lucky to Have

By Krista Giovara

My little sister was a nightmare. She cried constantly, loved to tattle and would regularly do things like kick me and then run to our parents crying about how I’d hit her. Clearly she wasn’t my favorite person to hang out with. Looking back, it was probably a textbook case of her being the youngest and seeking any attention she could get. All I saw was that she was plain annoying.

 
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stepmom magazine february 2021

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

I Asked Our Kids—and This Is What They Said!

By Krista Giovara

I love Tina Turner. When my current husband and I got married, I had the DJ play a few of her songs at our backyard reception. Now, with Valentine’s Day and our 10th anniversary on the horizon, I can’t help but think how far my husband and our combined stepfamily—the two of us plus seven kids—have come from our wedding day and, thankfully, the days leading up to it.

 
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stepmom magazine january 2021

Wonder Woman in Training

A Guide to Getting Your Stepmom License

By Krista Giovara

My parents signed me up for a Summer Driver’s Ed course just before I turned 16. Days spent in a classroom, miles spent behind the wheel and time spent with an intimidating instructor: I logged countless hours and, when the time came, nailed my written and driving tests. Given all my training, you’d assume I was a relatively skilled driver—right? Me, too.

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